shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
