your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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