careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
