so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
