i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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