I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
