is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
