I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
