Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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