people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Panties = found
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
