I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
