i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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