I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
