Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
