watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
