What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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