I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
from now on my penis is your penis
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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