I wish i was in the wii world.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
