You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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