i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
