Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
