You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize