My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
