So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
