my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
