I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
