Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize