I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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