i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
