genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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