I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Even my vagina gasped.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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