i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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