he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
