it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
