i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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