yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
