There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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