my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
