Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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