Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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