Everything about him screamed your future.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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