..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
