See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
