White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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