Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize