we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
