its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My vagina is officially offended.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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