is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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