I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize