My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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