Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
