yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
