sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
