I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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