i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
