You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
should my penis look like a turkey
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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