I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize