Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
