I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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