I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
