we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
