Fuck appropriateness.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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