It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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