Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
